Last week I received this email:
Title: I had a girlfriend who penciled in her eyebrows
Body: and you would both look a million times better if you didn’t. But then, I’m from a small town and hate the way makeup looks. Au natural!
It’s no great surprise that I’d never heard from this person before, but what on earth made them feel comfortable sending me an email like that remains a mystery. I suppose the anonymity of the internet gives everyone great big balls of judgment! In my day-to-day life, I’ve actually heard much worse. Some folks have very complex, ambivalent relationships with make-up. They’re attracted to us in our peacock mode, but if they get to know is, or even just get past a few dates they suddenly feel comfortable telling us it’s too much, or it looks cheap, or it’s unnatural, or, or, or.
I remember an old boyfriend smudging a painted eyebrow of mine with his finger while we were out, then laughing, amused with himself and with how mortified I was. It’s a multi-layered offense, really. First, it shows disregard for my comfort zone, second, disregard for my opinion of how I wanted my face to look that day, third, disregard for the time I put into it. Overall, it shows an astounding lack of respect and consideration. Just that single action. And this example is just the tip of an iceberg. I can’t even recall all the ways in which I’ve been belittled and infuriated by people throughout my life for the ways in which I choose to make up my face. At the end of the day, I know it’s no one’s business and haters gon’ hate, but I’ve often wondered why. WHYEEEEE!!!
Why is make-up so repellent to some people? My current guess is that as with most things, it has to do with individual association. Because of prior experience, do some peeps automatically think that those who wear make-up must be insecure victims of the cosmetics industry? Is it possible that anyone could still respond to make-up by recalling the loose woman stereotype? What’s the obsession with make-up looking “unnatural”? There’s the old argument that wearing shoes, riding bicycles and eating ice cream is unnatural too, if you go back far enough. I guess it’s different for everyone.
David Bowie poses with Twiggy in Paris for the cover of his ‘Pin Ups’ album. (Getty/Justin de Villeneuve)
So if you have time and aren’t yet sick of typing about make-up, if you have been antagonized over make-up, or if you have love/hate, or hate/hate feelings toward make-up, I would love it if you could talk about it in the comments. No Make-up Week so far has been an illuminating experience, and I wan to keep the ball rolling. There’s still more to explore.
Read more No Make-up Week articles at the home base, here.
I love makeup and always saw it as creative adornment rather than a way to “conceal flaws” (although that is a useful feature if it’s something you want to do).
I believe makeup is a statement of power. It asserts greater facial symmetry which projects a higher degree of relative fitness (from a Darwinian perspective). In North American culture at least, I also think that it speaks to confidence and self-expression. It can be used to intimidate and assert dominance.
I believe some men who react negatively against makeup are doing so because it projects an image of power that they may find threatening. A natural face is safer to look at, more familiar, and does not contain the woman’s own authorship of her femininity.
Just some quick and probably controversial thoughts before I hurry off to do my makeup before going to class ^_^
<3
Z-
I really love this post because it really is an annoying issue – or should I say projection of other ppls issues. I too LOVE playing with makeup and hair colors – I’m an artist, if the world insists on placing us into categories. The bottom line is, it’s freedom of expression. Makeup doesn’t mean anything in particular to most of us creatives – it’s just a mini art project. It’s a passion of mine much like painting, drawing, sculpture, photography, etc.
I melt the haters when I stare BACK.
I grew up as a tomboy, and as a “intellectual” kids, and I’ve despised make-up for a long time. I was ok and sometimes admirative of the rare girls able to make themselves up in a fine way, but most of it, for me, looked just cheap and tacky.
When I came to the photography, I started to be ore and more interested in make-up, cause I was totally in the best place to see how it affects people, how it changes a face, how it gives a persona, an accent, a mood to any face. I also started to uderstand that, no, indeed, tons of girls are NOT making themselves up just because they were poor victims of a society that want them seductive. But usually, just because they feel in the mood for making-up, period.
Now I still think most of the make-up faces I see are kinda cheap and often tacky, but now I also appreciate deeply a dainty, neat make-up on. ;)
I much prefer a very minimal/subtle make-up look. Nothing turns me off more than a girl who’s got an inch of makeup on her face. That’s totally and completely my own personal preference. I think makeup can be awesome when it’s done well, but unfortunately it seems like a lot of girls never really learned how to apply well.
On penciled eyebrows: Yours are actually some of the first penciled eyebrows I’ve seen that I like. I thought your tutorial on how to properly do your eyebrows was amazing, and I wish there were a way to direct people to it when out and about.
No Makeup Week is a really cool concept, by the way.
i’ve always actually liked unnatural-looking makeup more than the natural, although i’m warming up to the ‘natural-looking’ makeup.
in high school, i despised girls who wore makeup in the traditional sense. globs of skin-toned foundation, powder, eyeliner, mascara, blush, and lipstick. i found it all disgusting. i still find myself a bit put out by those who wear a certain look, but i associate it with personality types…not into spray tans or skinny-streaked highlights, either.
the first time i saw a girl i thought was beautiful had a shaved head, heavily black-lined eyes, and blue lipstick. she was wearing a chainmail headpiece. i remember her skin was very pale and she had light colored eyes…
so, different strokes for different folks. part of the reason i so resented the previously mentioned ‘natural’ makeup look is because a lot of people really couldn’t tell how saturated with gunk those faces were, and yet they were the ‘naturally beautiful’ ones, while the ones who weren’t even bothering to makeup their faces with subtlety were deemed ‘freaks,’ myself included.
p.s. i put on my face for a few hours yesterday for a job interview. i just felt more confident with it than without it…war paint, body armor?
I haven’t really gone to cosmetic extremes (at least by my standards) except to costume parties, but I am constantly harangued at home and work about my makeup being “too dark” or “too much” — even just a simple smokey eye. I know people’s opinions about what is “too much” have a lot to do with their generation, the crowd they run with, the things they’re used to seeing — and that if I want less negative feedback, I should just move myself to a more welcoming environment. Given that, though, the criticism still bites. I spend a lot of time thinking out how I’m going to do my face, and I’m not sure why people (especially people you don’t know too well) think it’s okay to criticize it. I don’t really distinguish a comment like “ooh, your makeup is too dark today” from “ooh, I think you’re ugly today”, and don’t get why people who would never say the latter are perfectly comfortable with the former.
Deliberately smudging eyebrows, though? Downright evil.
I’m not really sure what everyone’s problem with makeup is. I’ve found that most the time when I’ve received comments from women about my makeup its because they don’t wear any, and generally the ones that have made mean comments have had low self esteem. In my experiences its been the same people that have made comments about my makeup that has made comments about my dieting, my clothing choices, my hairstyles. Its almost been like they don’t want me to look better or as good as they do. Even at my college I think I’m one of two girls in our major that wears any makeup, and I’ve found that because of that and because of comments made about makeup (not even directed at me) by my peers/friends I’ve become lazy with my makeup and I’ve been in a love/hate relationship with it for almost a year now which makes me totally not feel like myself. I think people need to grow up and let us wear our makeup proudly. We’re not doing anything illegal, or immoral. We’re not killing puppies, we’re presenting ourselves on the outside as who we are on the inside.
i figure make-up is important to every peoples at any place on the globe as some shape, form, or fashion. no make-up week is kinda brilliant
My history with make-up runs the spectrum. Up until my senior year of high school, I refused to put anything on my face except an occasional blob of concealer to mask any acne. I didn’t, as you so succinctly put it, want to be perceived as an “insecure victim of the cosmetics industry” … being ME without any disguises seemed important. I also was under the impression that it was some kind of ultra-feminist move on my part.
In college, I abandoned my “victim” outlook and (maybe rather belatedly) got into dark eyeliners and shadows, which I wore pretty consistently throughout my university years.
After college, I was on a reality television program that gave me a makeover. I was told to ditch the raccoon eyes — but instead of just showing me how to do smoky eyes in softer shades, they also gave me a million other products that I never used regularly and told me how much better I would look if I used them — foundation, powder, eyebrow pencils, lipstick. This seems silly to say, especially since this all happened relatively recently, but I felt after that — after I was on TV and everything — that I was expected to look a certain way. I moved to LA and used a whole arsenal of makeup on my face every day for nearly two years, even if I was just going to Ralphs or the gas station.
A year ago I moved to NYC and realized that the insanely humid summers here were not conducive to caked-on make-up, so I went back to my pre-TV make-up routine (but not as raccoon-y) — shadow, liner, mascara, a bit of powder in my brows and some lip gloss or tinted balm. Sadly, I still feel naked and less than pretty without it — I sometimes go home from the gym with a bare face and feel incredibly self-conscious about it. I really hope to overcome that, but the attention I get when I’m wearing make-up vs. when I’m not — and I’m not talking about catcalls or unwanted attention, just looks from people or general politeness during simple interactions — makes me feel like I’m unattractive sans make-up…
First of all, let me say that I want to fuck with your image choices for this post. *hot*
I think that in modern society, make up is perceived by some as yet another dangerous tool that women use to enjoy our freedom, either worn as a means of showing sexual power, either using make up in a classical way, to appear sexier (the classical blush, lipstick and eyeshadow being a mock of blood distribution on the face during coitus) or applying makeup in a theatrical way and thus removing the sexual appeal of the female face. Some people are scandalized about women having control of our lives and sexual power, and so, they show their hatred in various ways, i.e. plain aggression: saying that one is a whore, a clown, or smudging ones eyebrow , or passive-aggressiveness: saying that natural is better , stating that women trying to control their looks, their sexuality, their power, their role in life is not appropriate, that we should accept our given destiny with modesty and resignation.
/sorry for my crappy english/
I am really enjoying this #nomakeupweek experiment and the reflections derived from it.
That guy’s a dick.
BTW I went out to dinner at the Cheesecake Fucktery last night with the mister and didn’t wear any makeup. It was rather empowering :P
Being a performer, I love the transformative power of make-up. And in my everyday life, I rarely go out without fabulous eye make-up. (Make-up as art, make-up as control over perception)
That being said, when I see a girl wearing a lot of foundation, powder, etc. outside of a performance context, I cringe. My brain screams, “Your skin is suffocating. Let it breathe!” I’m still working through that one.
I’m all for well done drawn eyebrows, so far you do it best Zoetica. With me, I fill in my natural eyebrows because the hairs are very fine so darkening what is there adds definition.
I haven’t had too many rude comments besides people saying that they think I would look better or do look better with less makeup. Which I sometimes find offensive because I obviously mostly by the fact that they think it’s their place to pass that judgement and tell me how I should or shouldn’t look. Just the same as with how I dress, in the end it’s for me, so I could care less of anyone else’s opinion.
I’ve also had people try and smudge or ruin my eye makeup which I agree is extremely rude and inconsiderate.
A lot of people assume that just because some one wears make up, it means that they’re ugly without it. Which is definitely far from true. People don’t realise that basic makeup only does so much, you can still see a persons features, if they have obvious blemishes one may not see the discoloration but they’ll still see the texture. Unless one is doing some major contouring, it’s not hard to imagine what a person would look like without makeup.
Haters gon’ hate and I’m gon’ keep doing what I do so they’re just wasting their time!
Welllllp. My mother raised me to believe that makeup was simply a waste of time and effort, possibly because she felt indebted to some wave of feminism that began just as she was growing up. I later saw no point of ever practicing with, or buying makeup, mostly in an effort to stay as INVISIBLE AS POSSIBLE in middle/high school. I do remember a day in early high school when a friend offered to take me to the mall, pick out an outfit and teach me how to use eyeshadow and the like. I was confused at first, then slightly flattered that she wanted to spend time with me, then mostly offended that she had offered at all. What did she feel I was lacking in my life that could be fixed with excessive lip gloss? I felt I was surrounded with people so self-regarded in a ritual that did not improve them as human beings, and wanted no part of it. Oh 13-year-old me! You shore were full of misplaced misanthropy.
I still find it weird to have more than simple eye makeup on; anything delving into the multiple pigments arena makes me feel like a drag queen and sort of suffocated. For me, I had to be okay with how I looked naturally before I could begin seriously wearing it (only just learned how to use the most basic of tools earlier this year!), and I still make sure I look okay without anything. I don’t look down on people who *do* use it; a lot of my friends get up in the early hours every day of their lives and painstakingly shapeshift into Bettie Page, and they look fucking incredible. I liked what Tilda Swinton said about makeup, that it’s good if you don’t want to look like yourself, which is true. It’s not a hindrance or physical way of showing all your Freudian brain vomit catastrophes unless, of course, you let it become that.
I don’t think that my personal preferrence should dictate how a person makes themselves look and what makes other people feel comfortable.
It seems that so many men espouse this false belief that preferring the “au naturale” face of a woman over a made up one makes them more sensitive caring post feminist menfolk. But they’re wrong.
Great Oscar Wilde quote, ” on a man’s face is written his autobioraphy, on a woman’s her work of fiction.” Don’t wear a whole lot of makeup mostly due to extreme laziness, also I work with dogs and there is no need for makeup when you are outside in the 100 degree Texas heat! I do like to get dolled up on the rare occassions I go out. No problem with those who wear a lot of noticeable especially when it’s done well. That being said those women who have that pink/orange line at their jawline drive me crazy!
I love dramatic make-up, but have been criticised and bullied for it since I was about 14 (when I started to wear it). Being criticised for being male and wearing make-up, particularly in my high school years, hasn’t exactly been the easiest thing to shun off. I was repeatedly discriminated against by staff who forced me to remove it, while girls would wander in wearing 4 inches of orange foundation and 1000 layers of mascara without twitching an eye of any staff member. A boy wearing minimal foundation and a thin layer of liquid eyeliner, though? Nope! Totally unacceptable. Obviously I had to conform to social norms within school to get somewhere. Derp.
I shaved my brows when I was 15 and subsequently got questions like, “why do you draw your eyebrows on?” and “do you draw them on yourself?” (seriously?). I’m almost 20 now, and wear a full face of make-up every time I leave the house, except for short trips to town or something when I’ll wear sunglasses to feel a little more secure. I do feel that my makeup serves as a barrier to my securities to a degree, and my lack of self confidence is much more obvious when I don’t have enough make-up on. I’ve not had many queries or comments, and blunt questioning of my gender/sex aren’t frequent anymore. The last time some idiot shouted “are you a boy or a girl?” to me, I wasn’t sure whether to laugh and walk on or strangle him with his own intestines while screaming “why are you so ignorant and fucking stupid?!”
No Make-Up Week would probably be an eye-opener for me, but I’d just feel so naked, anxious and self-concious without it. Maybe in a couple of years… who knows.
*insecurities (woops, sorry)
I have been reading the NMUW with lots of interest. And in honour of it, I am actually wearing make-up. Odd, sure, but a little information.
I am 39, I wear make-up maybe twice a month. I work in a counter-culture job, sort of, I work retail at an Mom and Pop record store. But, I have never really wanted to wear make-up every day, it seem so much work. So I shower, put on moisturiser and I am done every single day. No powder, base, mascara, lipstick nothing. So to test my self I am trying out a small amount a day, to see my relationship to make-up and my co-workers.
Today I wore eyeliner and mascara, and a tinted lip gloss. I was asked if I was dressing up for a reason, did I forget to wash my club make up off, and what was wrong with my eyes. I think the main reason I don’t wear make up is the reactions.
I love Arizona, seriously. I have never gotten a negative comment about how I dress or the makeup I wear, only positive ones.
I do wear makeup most of the time I go out. But just because I enjoy it, I like bright colored eyeshadows and bright lipstick. I like to use colorful makeup because I like wearing alot of black clothes, so my makeup makes up for it. ;p I never even started wearing makeup until after high school, really. I had to wake up at 6am to go to school and I am not a morning person, so I hardly ever bothered with makeup.
I feel that makeup is not supposed to be natural, I mean, if I want to look natural I’ll wear no makeup! I like to wear the colorful makeup that I do because I like to be unique, I want to stand out and get noticed. Alot of people are afraid of that. I am a shy person, I admit, but when it comes to how I look I am pretty confident.
I’ve had alot of trouble with bad acne though. But I’ve always disliked the look and feel of foundation, I rarely wear it. I really hate those stupid acne commercials where the people in them are like “I feel confident and not ugly now that my acne is gone!” I feel beautiful despite my acne. I also never wear blush or bronzer or whatever. I like my pale skin and blush makes me look too doll-like. I generally just wear eyeshadow, mascara and lipstick.
But anyway, my beliefs are mine, they’re about me and how I feel. I will never try and push my beliefs on someone else, I hate it when people do that. So what if you don’t like makeup? I do and it’s my body, I’ll do whatever I want.
I have a boyfriend who hates hates HATES makeup. So much so that he wrote a serious song about it (http://allofhertwitch.bandcamp.com/track/useless-thorns ; shameless plug, I know, but at least it’s relevant). He equates it w/ lying, and he holds lying to be the most reprehensible thing one can do. Eh, people believe what they believe.
I’ve never worn makeup in any regular amount. Partly out of laziness, partly due to my stifling self-esteem issues (meaning I don’t think I’m pretty enough to even wear makeup).
This series is a very interesting read, not just because of how shocking makeup-less Zo looked to me. Love seeing all the different viewpoints!
I never had a complicated relationship with make-up (besides those two years in junior high when I wanted to wear it but wasn’t allowed) until recently, and No Make-Up Week has brought that out. There was a time when I felt comfortable venturing out bare-faced, when checkers at the drug store laughed at my anti-aging cream purchases. Then I got knocked up and had to stop using Retin-A and my skin became horrible. Ridiculous hormonal surges gave me cystic acne and I’m still bearing the battle scars. This, plus the vow to myself that I’d not let myself “slip” just because I have a baby has made make-up feel absolutely necessary to me.
Make-up, as you illustrate so well in your story about the eyebrow-smudging boyfriend, is often tied to how we feel about ourselves. When I am flagging and feeling like being a mom has stolen my energy, my looks, and my youth, pulling out the liquid liner and giving my eyes a little extra attention feels good, like I belong to myself again. It seems silly, but it can make such a difference. It makes me feel — and feel like I’m being perceived — as if I haven’t “given up.”
(The title of this post says “Bush Response,” btw, which is awesome, but I don’t think it’s what you meant.)
I’m gonna keep this short, but I say that makeup is a way express your true self. The different styles and colors you use show your personality and style. Also, I fill in my eyebrows with Bare Minerals, so I can see how a smudged brow would be embarrassing, because when I get sweaty mine run down my brow line, and it isn’t very fun.
That is all.
Jennifer! Hi, thank you for chiming in.
About the title: Blush Response is the title of my health and beauty features on here, and I feel like No Make-up Week falls under that umbrella.
And yeah, I can relate so well to looking like yourself via make-up as form of a pick-me-up, but let me say that you definitely have NOT lost your looks to motherhood. Managing to look radiant in the shitstorm of ‘Con? Not something just anyone can pull off.
xz
Being a Goth myself, I have put up with a lot of shit from peers throughout middle school and high school. I was made fun of by multiple people, including some teachers. And, of course, it took a meeting with a family counsellor to get me to dress and make-up the way I wanted to. Now, I’ve always thought makeup was beautiful, on men or women… I’m able to look at David Bowie or Marilyn Manson or Emilie Autumn or even you, Zoe, and think “Damn, THAT is art!” I even looked into a beauty school because I was so fascinated by the makeup that went into the film, Silent Hill. It’s like painting, only not on a canvas. I love doing my makeup, and on my Youtube channel, I have some “fail tutorials”, but I keep them because you can always learn from your mistakes. I use makeup as a way of expressing myself, and also to highlight certain features (I love my eyes, so dramatic eye-makeup is something I fell in love with quickly). Of course it’s also wonderful when you have acne, to cover up redness and all, but I have to agree with some above posters, it’s more about highlighting your good points. And by the way, I love the idea of pencilled in eyebrows, especially in different colors. Even if you do something like Amanda Palmer does… I don’t think there are two days where her eyebrows look the same!
I think Jennifer’s point is just that it says Bush (rather than Blush) Response on the post title, “Bush Response 012 – No Make-up Week, Day 3”.
I’ve never had anyone directly insult my make-up, and I think this is because by the time I got brave enough to wear bright, more unusual looks, I was quite good at applying it! When I was in my early teens I was scared of using make-up because I worried I’d accidentally end up orange like most of the make-up wearing girls I went to school with. I was never one of those mini-goths with masses of black eyeliner – I was scared of being laughed at. I worked up very slowly, over ten years, to my current state make-up confidence. It probably helps that I live and play in London too, though!
Oh! Yes, someone also mentioned it on Twitter and I fixed that a while ago? Looks like “Blush” now! Although I love the idea of Bush Response: Emergency bush dispatch.
I think the core issue here is that women’s bodies are thought of as being public property. When women inevitably cross some boundary, society reacts by instantly trying to put her in place, like a carton of milk that has been found left out on the counter. This causes most un-reflective people, even well intentioned ones, to blurt out the first thing that comes to their minds because on some level they believe the offender invites unasked for opinions. It’s like because you pencil in your eyebrows, you are automatically ‘open to revision’ and beneath the dignity of being accepted for who you are. A friend of mine is very thin and very tall—she’s 6′ 2″, and she likes to dress in masculine clothes. This alone has made her the object of constant unasked for remarks. Men just come up to her at school and tell her that she intimidates them. Guys she tries to date tell her to wear more effeminate clothing to make up for the fact that her height turns them off before they even have their first date, and then act confused when she cancels the date over what they believed to be very helpful advice. She is constantly being told that she is Unacceptable by people who have nothing to do with her.
I don’t wear makeup that often, but when I do, my colleagues shower me with unasked for comments about how I look so plain without it and how I should wear it more often. In fact I get far more comments, positive or negative, about my appearance than I do about the things I care about, like my work-related accomplishments or my my skills in other areas.
Don’t wear too much makeup, you’ll look like a slut. Don’t leave the house without makeup, you’ll look like a slob/spinster. Wear sexy clothes, but not too sexy. Wear heels, don’t wear heels. Paint your nails. Don’t paint your nails. Tan your skin, but not too much. Look interesting, but not too interesting. Spend enough hours on your appearance that it looks like you spent no time at all. And god help you if you don’t shave your legs/pits.
Women are constantly on review, so much so that sometimes I feel like there is a pane of frosted glass between me and the world. As much crap as men have to put up with, no one goes up to them and tells them they would look better if they gained about ten pounds of muscle mass and waxed their chests.
I hate boyfriends who try to tell me how to, or not to, do my makeup, or how to dress for that matter. I don’t know why men think they’re entitled to tell me how to look.
I’ve always had them tell me to dress sluttier, wear less black, bleach my hair, and wear less make up. It’s annoying as hell, and extremely narcissistic because they’re assuming that my goal when deciding how to look is to be attractive to them.
I don’t try to look attractive to men when I do my makeup. I do it in a way that *I* like, and I’m not going to change it for anybody.
I’m ever a victim of the “Why do you wear it?”., “You don’t need it”, etc. Shut up, already. I’m going to wear it and thats the end of it.
More so, what offends me, is that people seem to think it must define me as a person. That my only interest MUST be make up. That I should take it up as an occupation, or do this, or do that, blah blah. Thing is, I LIKE to wear it. I love it, even. Its fun. I own A LOT. But you know what? I also like movies. And history. And books. And books about history. I like Theology, too. Thats what I want to get my masters in. I like lots of things. Some of these things, I like even more than make-up. But no one wants to talk about those things, because they really like my eyelashes. Or maybe they just can’t associate a girl wearing make up with a masters in Theology.
For my entire life I’ve looked up to all the beautiful woman (and men now that I think about it) who took control and heightened their facial features with makeup. Sally Bowles and Hedwig were my style icons for the longest time, two spotlights in an ocean of Washington state grey.
But somehow the glamour of makeup never translated to the real world for me. Whenever I put makeup on my own face it felt unnatural and boxed in because, as far fetched as it sounds, I didn’t have the freedom to touch my own face in fear of smearing something and then the fear of unknowingly walking about with a marred complexion was too much. I felt like I had lost control of how I represented myself to others.
So now, I tend to enjoy makeup through putting it on my friends, night time prowling (because thats when you’re meant to get smeared and out of control) and inspiration in fashion photography. My everyday makeup consists of only really face powder, blush and lip stain which I am now more comfortable with because it’s required me to take better care of my skin :)
These recent articles you’ve been posting have been so enjoyable! It’s so great to see where you’ve come from and that so many people experience something as universal as makeup so differently. Plus your openess to everyones personal preferences to beauty is astounding. Keep it up, we want mooore!!
I have never hated make-up even though I refused to wear it for so long, and that was my way of being different. I was always fascinated by it. One of my older cousins was a hardcore goth rocker and wore full makeup everyday, and he had a rough time of it.
To me make-up had always been something outside of my abilities, I couldn’t wear it the way I wanted to so I didn’t wear it. (Like a gothrocker)
Which in the private school world and later at one of my first jobs set me apart. I had a boss inform me that I HAD to wear make-up to work, and that was because I had a small zit on my face and she pulled me aside and told 16 year old me that I wasn’t professional and should really take time to make myself look presentable. I didn’t. I was angry and hurt.
In the last 2 years I have started to learn how to apply make-up and it’s been really fun, but I never understood the hatred of make-up. It’s just another form of art to me.
But I had funny colored hair and was privy to a lot the same questions. Never understood it.
When I was a little girl, I was a complete tomboy and much preferred playing games in the forest or the field, than sit in front of my mom’s makeup case trying things on. Even when I had a phase of “I want to be a magic faerie!” trying on Mom’s makeup never occurred to me.
Up until high school I disliked makeup and never wore it – until of course I discovered that I was happy wearing black with lace and high platform heels, listening to Malice Mizer and other j-rock bands with gothic leanings, and appreciated them for wearing the makeup they wore for theatrical reasons. I discovered that makeup wasn’t just for girls who wanted to look a certain way (insert negative connotation there), it was also for men who were simply trying to look otherworldly and beautiful, and therefore, if even men wore it, why don’t I try it too?
So for the highschool years and most of university, the world did not see me outside of the house without pale makeup on, black-eyeliner Egyptian eyes, eerie silver or possibly blue lipstick, etc. I learned how to apply it and became mostly decent at it – at least the eyes, anyway. Later on, as I developed my own style and re-discovered colour in clothing, the lipstick was the first to go, then the eyeliner (it was such a hassle anyway!), now I’ve toned it right down to as natural a look as possible.
Now I only use mineral makeup, and that’s just foundation, concealer and powder, very rarely eyeliner unless I go out to a concert and dress like my old self. And let me tell you, my face and skin feels a LOT better for it. It can actually breathe now.
I, sadly, cannot participate in No Makeup Week because its not considered ‘professional’ in the beauty industry. In beauty school, your constantly told that, “if you cant make yourself look good, people are going to wonder if you can make them look good.”
I also did not like how in the makeup chapters of our texts, it considered makeup as a “way to conceal flaws, and highlight your good features”. It just seems like your natural facial structures shouldnt be considered “flaws”. These flaws were absolutely ridiculous, by the way, instructing on how to make wide noses look narrower, and cheekbones appear higher to have a “more desired face shape”.
I love makeup, but foundation is a love/hate relationship. I fought with my complexion since I was 12, and Ive had oily/sensitive skin up until recent years. So breakouts made me feel so selfconscious, because it was obvious when someone was looking around your face and not in your eyes. That hurts.
I am a makeup addict though! Love eyeshadows, blending colors, and coming up with a new look. Ive learned that olive oil is the absolute best way to take off dark, piled on eyeshadow; and its very hydrating for your thin eyelid skin.
Your story with your ex made me feel so sad, its absolutely awful how some people have the audacity to go out of their way to make someone else feel bad.
Growing up, I wasn’t close with many women who wore make-up regularly. My mom didn’t. My sister certainly didn’t. None of my high school girlfriends did, and one of them was strongly opposed to the idea that she ever should have to wear make-up for any reason. I also ran with some of the goths and punks in those days, so the women that I knew who did wear make-up were often going for stark color and contrast rather than natural tones.
In college, I started dating girls who wore make-up regularly. My initial reaction was to say things along the line of, “You know you look beautiful without that stuff.” To which they would inevitably reply that they wore it just because they liked to. Looking back now, I think some of my attitude then was my own insecurities with appearance and vanity. I didn’t want to have to think about how I looked, so watching somebody transform themselves like that made me feel uncomfortable. They obviously cared about how they looked, so did that mean that I was failing myself? The self-obsession of 20-somethings is hardly a revelation, but it’s interesting to note that the conclusion I eventually reached was that, yeah, I do need to care about my appearance. Thankfully, it’s quite possible to do so in a balanced manner, and that caring about how putting effort into how I look doesn’t mean I have to make it the focus of my life.
I’m 21 now, and I’ve never worn makeup. It doesn’t feel right or suit my personality, and I generally prefer how women look without makeup. That’s not to say I hate makeup, because I don’t. It can look really beautiful. It just isn’t for me and I have no real interest in it. Some of my friends have tried to start wearing makeup because they feel that that’s what girls are supposed to do, and I think that’s upsetting. Whatever you do with your face should be what makes you happiest to look at.
A couple of things in response to reading this post and the last one… and a question:
– I’ve only noticed drawn eyebrows on a woman once, at a party in 1990: Zephrys, a goth chick from Newport, RI (Her real name was Daisy, and she was a military brat from the nearby naval base).
I noticed that they were drawn on because they were crooked.
In other words: well done drawn-on eyebrows = good, but eyebrows like lex luthor in all-star superman=not so smurfy.
– Whenever I’ve worn makeup (clubs, shows, etc.) I’ve done it specifically to NOT communicate masculinity. I personally can’t see using cosmetics to amplify masculinity, only war paint, Lord of the Flies style…the violent aspect of masculinity.
A lot of what I’m reading here seems to be about wearing cosmetics for enhancement and/or personal self-expression in one’s everyday life. My own personal use has been for communication, making a statement.
Anyhow, my question is: for those of you who model for paintings or photography, do you have a different mindset when you’re made up for a shoot, as opposed to when you make yourself up? Is that more like make-up for acting out a persona rather than make-up to bring out the real you.
Interesting reading so far.
I always loved the idea of beautiful, exciting, interesting makeup, however my mother has always worn minimal makeup (she has beautiful skin and sometimes wears lipstick and that’s about it!) and so I never really worked out how to use it until my late teens. I really didn’t want to end up with a pink/orange face, pale neck/chest and bright orange arms and legs (like the girls I went to high school with).
I have various vague allergies of which I’m still trying to work out the causes, which means every other day I spend an hour or so with bright red rashy streaks on my face, neck and chest. I’ve tried with varying success to cover this up with makeup, but I’ve never been satisfied with using makeup to cover my whole upper torso – seems a little excessive!
So that is my main goal this week, I suppose, to worry less about makeup as a hiding place and, next week, concentrate on using it to make a look or design that I can enjoy looking at without freaking out about what is going on underneath.
Like many others, I have been battling a makeup dependency since my mid-teenage years.
I’m a natural light ash blonde with very fair freckly skin also gifting me with essentially invisible eyelashes and eyebrows. Abandoning my natural albin-esque look in high school for some Black No. 1, I began slopping on the heavy eyeliner, mascara, eye brow penciling and all the trappings that come with black hair. My hair color changed over the years, eventually returning to black, but still I felt absolutely naked, ugly and almost…featureless without my “face” on.
An ex of mine, who’s opinion I mistakenly valued greatly, would constantly make back-handed comments about my use of makeup. Things to the effect of “You’re so pretty when you wear less makeup….I love seeing your real face…You apply the makeup really well but I see you glowing through…” Yeah, he really piled it on. Obviously there were days I wouldn’t go through the whole paint-roller routine, but I went to extraordinary lengths never to be seen sans eyebrows & mascara at the least.
He hounded me about my “hiding myself”- pointing out the absurdity and unhealthiness of my dependency to the point that, one day, I finally agreed to take off everything in front of him.
He sat in the bathroom and watched as I took eye makeup remover to my naturally translucent lashes, and washed my face completely clean.
He quite literally recoiled in shock/horror. He said he had no idea how “different” I looked and it was “a lot to process”.
My self esteem was deeply wounded, and I don’t think I’d ever felt so ugly or rejected in my life. I hadn’t much liked the way I looked without makeup to begin with (especially with the dyed black hair), but I hadn’t expected or deserved a reaction like that. Even reflecting on this now, I can feel the tears well up in my eyes.
Since then, I’ve battled with these same issues and memories. I’ve since discarded that…erm…man, returned to a platinum ash blonde and have largely accepted the way I look and even take some pride in the rarity of my recessive genes. (Hey, how many chicks bleach their hair to achieve what I was born with, amirite?) While I still wear makeup and actually enjoy it, I exit the front door wearing only concealer and brown mascara (maybe a little blonde eyebrow pencil if I’m feeling too undefined) most days. Eyeliner is less frequently used but still, and will always be, beloved.
While I’m sure lots of people don’t find me attractive au naturale, I’ve come to terms with it. And I have found at least one worthwhile human being who smiles at me after I’ve washed my face, and after I’ve painted it completely…and genuinely doesn’t seem to notice the difference, or care.
Kindly forgive my spelling and grammar mistakes- its past 1AM here on the East Coast!
So many many haters – and so many people who can’t deal with the clean face and the made up face both being really parts of a person. I think people think when they see the makeup is makeup they get feel betrayed – as if you were FAKING – but the point is that they were the one that made up something about what the makeup meant…it is truly like people’s responses to art and how they fill up the great works with all kind of meanings – mostly about themselves.
I often wonder why people have a gross over-reaction to makeup that is unusual or dramatic. I have alot of cause to wonder it living in a place where ladies wear facemasks of orange and weird ash-blond streaks in their hair that seem bizarre to me, but everyone finds normal.
However, some of the edge of my conclusion comes that while we focus on the makeup, its often what it represents that gets people all worked up. Being ‘abnormal’ or ‘foreign’ to the norm is still shockingly controversial to yon-random person. Its seen as a choice you are making to not be normal, and this sends mixed social signals out.
What are you showing to them? Are you being challenging? Are you showing you have some kind of weird sexual fetish? Are you showing that you are not like them?
I’m not saying its RIGHT or SMART for the general public to assume that you are some kind of anti-establishment sex doll because your skin is pale or your eyebrows are blue, but I think despite the mainstreaming of the subculture, or even because of it, people assume understanding and by assuming are entitled to have a bad opinion of your style.
I also think that in particular the Gothic/Alternative/non-Normal way of making up has an element of ‘crossdressing’ in the sense of say, like Actors dressing as Aristocracy. By being ‘normal’ people choosing to call attention to ourselves, we have crowned ourselves, dressed ourselves above our station, and with a mere swipe of glittery shadow we are claiming we are elevating ourselves above others.
That could also apply to gender, as makeup for men AND women, particularly of the alternative kind has a kind of Gender-confusion to it, even for women. It doesn’t fit inside the ‘normal’ purpose of beautifying your face to enhance the qualities that would attract a mate, in fact it normally has the complete opposite aesthetic purpose, blotting out the things that are tell-tell signs of mating rituals.
Make sense?
i tend to find that men who actively dislike make-up are either slobs who prefer women as simple and unrefined as they are, or they–due to whatever signals and triggers they received growing up–just think women are more attractive sans. What proves true more often than not, however, is the confidence that a woman might have that attracts everyone around her. if wearing make-up is a woman’s “thing” and makes her feel more comfortable being herself, that will only work to her advantage in all cases. besides, why would a make-up loving woman want to be with an “au naturale” nut? I’ve never dated a guy who “hated” make-up, but my boyfriend now loves make-up and loves the idea of me being able to change my face in such a way. it’s extremely liberating to be encouraged to wear runway ready make-up and circle contacts and the like. I also draw on my brows, but have received little in the way of negative feedback–perhaps because i’ve almost always done them in brown…people are usually fooled into thinking i’ve had them done. but when i began wearing extreme make-up in high school, i certainly had my share of comments. luckily, i didn’t get anything too mean-spirited…but it wears on you when people constantly feel the need to point out your lipstick color, as if you forgot. in retrospect, i can pass alot of those comments off as a form of jealousy that i had the guts to look like that. as i got older and dressed more wildly, the comments i would receive–especially from older women–were more along the lines of “if i was younger i would so dress like that!” or “you look so cute!”….
whether they want to be edgy or not, people are always attracted to edginess. this is the quality that makes characters in film and television and comics and cartoons and all fiction just so damn cool. and whether regular people want to look like that on a daily basis, or ever….they are usually attracted to it in some form–dressing up makes someone automatically interesting just by virtue of being interesting looking.
and haters?….i believe that sometimes vocalizing disapproval is another way of taking something cooler than you down a notch, just to make yourself look better.
wiping off your gf’s eyebrow is just amazing to me. the utter disrespect! i once had a friend stamp my face with the door stamp at a show at a bar. i was looking cute, and my make-up was done nicely. then he stamped me. i slapped him in the face.
Some of my friends always say that I hide behind my makeup, or that I don’t appreciate natural beauty or that I can’t leave the house with it. All of this is completely untrue.
People do what feels good. Makeup feels good to me. I love to be creative with it and try different things. It is bit of a creative outlet for me and I wear it because I’m highlighting my best features, not to conceal my flaws.
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I never wore much makeup, and still do not. My mum gave me my first set (red lipstick, red nail polish, mascara) for my 14th birthday, and I was quite bewildered, I didn’t know what she was thinking, or what I should do with it.
I later did try some eye shadow etc, but had no clue about it, so chose blue, which didn’t really work that well. :P My then boyfriend also wasn’t very helpful, he ridiculed me for it. He also didn’t like me wearing nail polish – it would go so far that once, when he noticed me wearing some, he started scratching it off my fingers (on the way to uni, in the middle of the bus).
Oh well. :P
In the past few years, I learned how to use makeup so that when I feel like it, I can pretty myself up a bit. It’s just a little bit of mascara here, some blush there, maybe lipgloss sometimes…not much (except for the few party occasions when I finally knew how to use bright red lipstick). But it makes me feel better, and my now boyfriend supports me all the way. :)
Some people just don’t have any respect for others, it seems – if someone put effort in their look, or simply chooses to change something about their appearance because they enjoy it more (hair colour, make up, whatever) – that is their perfect right, and messing with it or ridiculing it is just…wrong.
Make-up is an art and a form of self expression. For someone to belittle another for that is incredibly low and ignorant.
I wasn’t allowed to wear make-up til I was about 15 or so. My mom would let me wear it around the house but that was it. “Less is more” she’d always say. I wasn’t big on foundation or blush. Felt like I was suffocating. Mainly it was always about the eyes and lips. Now it’s mostly about the eyes. I only do it on special occasions or sometimes on the weekends. Wearing makeup to a factory, where I sweat and get dirty, is pretty pointless. So I don’t wear make-up during the week.
The first time I anyone ever touched my eyebrows she took half of 1 off LOL! I didn’t touch them again til this year, almost 15 years later! Yea, they get pretty out of control but it never phased me and no one really noticed once I did.
I love your style btw and thoroughly enjoy this site. Thank you for that!
I’ve been slightly boyish for a long time but I have my moments. I like the freedom to choose how I want to look, when I want to look that way. Most of the time I’m without make-up but I used to put it on pretty heavy. When I was about fifteen or sixteen I’d wear lots of eyeliner and lipliner and not much else.
Truth is, I didn’t know how to put it on and I didn’t have the time to figure it out so I stuck with what I knew.
There’s no hate or love toward make-up for me. It’s the same with weaves and corsets…sometimes I like to look different so I put shit on. The end.
People are really rank and angry about anything they can find. I always felt like it was a lonely thing. They have to feel strongly about something or they seem like they don’t have any opinions, and people without opinions don’t fit in well with anything. So people jump on any bandwagon they can find.
It’s a really dick move to think that someone should actually stop wearing or doing something that YOU don’t find appealing.
But…I’ve also had a lot of people ask me dumb ass questions because of my not wearing make-up. Am I too dark for it? Do they not make make-up in my color? Is it because the angles of my face are already too sharp? Am I a stud (what we call butch lesbians in GA). Before I decided I was bi-sexual and not 100% lesbian, lots of people were disgusted with me if I dated someone who was also slightly boyish.
I don’t know. Like I said, people just like to fit in and look like they’re experts on something.
Beauty comes from being comfortable with yourself to me. Fuck your methods in getting that way. Just be happy with how you look, no matter how many hours it takes to look that way, and I’m good with you.
I’d like to see people shut the hell up about SOMETHING someday.
Well, the makeup subject is tricky for a man, isn’t it? You wrote some reasons why destroying your makeup is wrong, and I agree with that. But what if I didn’t like girlfriend’s makeup? Can I tell her that? Can I tell her it’s a bit wrong somewhere? Or just that her face looks a lot better without it – which seems the same as saying that she didn’t do a good job? I’m asking because I had a girlfriend who wasn’t good at it, but every morning was trying to improve her pretty face. And, from my point of view, was failing to do that (not to mention spoiling her skin with tons of stuff). I managed to talk her out of the “tons” bit, which helped a lot, but she would still hold on to the makeup style that wasn’t really making her look better… Still, telling her that wasn’t really an option ;)
I’m not against makeup, the same way as I’m not against remixes of my favourite songs or different prints of the same photographs. It’s the same thing expressed in a different way. First, though, you should like what you’re working with, because otherwise, you’ll accept anything that isn’t like the original thinking that you’re improving it. And what I’ve seen so far is that the best with makeup are those girls who want to express themselves, rather than improve.
I’m 23 and never wore much makeup. Because of scars and pale anemic-looking lips, I’m dependent on concealer, foundation, and lip-tint. Occasionally, I put on eyeliner and mascara but I stop there.
I find makeup an art form and admire people who apply it perfectly or creatively. I wish I were that good and that makeup isn’t so expensive. Makeup can be a lot of fun!
It does annoy me a bit when guys hate makeup. Maybe it’s because some of us put effort to stand out but feel unappreciated. Maybe it’s because not everyone’s born equal. Maybe it shows THEIR weakness and hints on how they’re beginning to feel intimidated, how they may connect it to a girl being sharp and intelligent. If a man is secure with himself, he wouldn’t have a problem with that. And frankly, if he’s looking for a one-night-stand, he shouldn’t mind suspending his disbelief for the evening. My boyfriend sees me with no makeup all the time unless I go out and he doesn’t treat me any differently with or without makeup.
When a girl hates another girl for wearing makeup, cliche as it sounds but it has a lot to do with self-esteem. “How dare she put on makeup. How dare she tries to elevate herself or appreciate herself to that extent? I don’t even DARE do that to myself. I’m not that worthy. Who the hell does she think she is?”
I may not use makeup much but I sometimes make it a point to separate myself from many girls I tend to look like at a glance (I’m Asian – black hair, black eyes, etc). I think makeup, other than hair and clothes, is also about making solid impression.